Friday, June 03, 2005here we go again...
I hate the summer. I really do. Detest it. Despise it. Loathe it. Oh like anything else, summer has it's good sides, but to me, it's kind of like having your wisdom teeth pulled, while your favorite song is playing in the dentist's office. The good just isn't that good.
For as long as I can remember, I wasn't a big fan of summer. While everyone around me dreaded the first snowfall of the year, I would await it with glee. While everyone celebrated the arrival of June, I would lament the loss of my fresh, crisp, cold weather. What forces have shaped me into the winter-loving, summer-loathing psycho that I am? A few reasons:
1- Allergies: I have hay fever. Not severe, but just enough for it to irritate my eyes and my nose, making me pretty uncomfortable. When things get bad, then I'll dope myself on "Reactine", "Allegra", or "Claritin", and they usually help, though they make me drowsy, and I HATE feeling drowsy.
2- Poor internal temperature control: I have had this problem for as long as I can remember. When it's cold, I freeze. When it's hot, I cook! My body seems completely incapable of self-cooling or self-heating, even just a little bit. Now I'm affected by this problem in the winter as in the summer, but you see, doing something about this handicap is far easier in the cold than in the heat. When I'm cold, I put on more warm clothes, I seek the chair closest to the heater, and all is well. When I'm hot... well... there is only so much I can take off.
3- Warmth makes me sleepy: I've seen this in others, so I know it's not just me! When in a warm place, the only thing my body wants to do is lay down and sleep. Unfortunately, for me to "lay down and sleep" for 4 months just isn't possible, so every day I find myself fighting this innate feeling to crash. Not cool (pun intended).
4- Two words: No Hockey: Any season that deprives a Canadian of his national sport is a terrible evil. Oh! a few rinks remain open during the summer season, but the ice quality is awful. There is always street hockey, which isn't too bad, but it's not the Real McCoy. Seriously though, there is only one sport I really care to play, and that's hockey... so in the summer, I become quite the inactive slug.
5- Women who need modesty lessons: Summer is the season that ungodly women come out in public with only their underwear on, or they'll have blouses unbuttoned down to their belly buttons. The Christian experience for a man is hard enough, seeing a little cutie walking down the street in her underwear sure doesn't help matters.
6- "Party time!": Summer time of course means vacations, festivals, BBQs, parties, and all the nonsense and foolishness that comes with people who have too much time on their hands, playing and wasting their energy on vanity and entertainment. Oh! I have no problem with vacations, festivals, BBQs and parties if they are God honouring. My problem is that is the noise of the God-dishonouring ones that keeps me from sleeping at night.
7- My Christian summertime responsibilities: Yep, they irritate me. Not very Christian sounding now is it? Probably isn't. But I'll be honest. Summertime means Street Preaching to huge crowds of revellers and party goers, and the bigger the crowd the more nonsense the preacher has to put up with. And then there are the "special" days of Street Preaching: Canada Day and the Gay Pride Parade. On Canada Day, we preach ALL DAY... it is quite tiring; on the Gay Pride Parade, we carry our Gospel signs behind the "official" end of the parade where we are jeered, cursed at, pushed around, have objects hurled at us... etc... etc... Lots of fun.
So... here we go again with another dreadful summer season... I'm sure I'll make it... but rest assured, there will be a winter-loving, summer-loathing psycho in Canada, looking eagerly outside his window for the first signs of winter's first snowfall...