Saturday, September 22, 2012don't know what to do...
What do I possibly write after a night like tonight? Should I even write anything? Should I wait until I've gotten a grip... wait until I've had a good day, then write about terrible events in a semi-detached manner? Seriously, dear readers, I don't know what to do.
Originally, this blog was to help me cope with the various emotions I felt after a night of street preaching... a way to have it all out before going to bed. Basically, a weak man trying to deal with his feelings, hoping to get a bit of understanding/empathy from his brothers and sisters-in-the-Lord, and that was about it. Over time, this little blog became a bit more. It was a way for friends and family (earthly and heavenly) to keep tabs as to how things were going with me as far as the faith was concerned. It became something else too, something I think is of very high value, but that "something" I want to keep to myself, for the time being at least.
After a night like tonight however, it is so difficult to know what to write. Will I give the wrong idea to a particular reader? Will I cause some offense if I relay something I saw or heard in my three hours of evangelism? Will I sin by letting my hurt feelings, my frustrations, my heavy sadness write this post?
Do I lie, as in, not tell the whole truth? Do I sanitize what I experienced to keep everything unimpeachable?
Tonight was a pretty miserable experience, dear saints. Not the worse night of evangelism I had to endure, but it made the Top 5 for sure. We weren't in the marketplace 5 minutes and I was told my John 3:16 sign was horse manure... except he didn't use the word manure. JOHN 3:16. Clearly, others felt the same way because less than an hour later, a wicked soul smashed our John 3:16 sign. I really feel I need to repeat: JOHN 3:16!
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Apparently, those are such vile and objectionable words that they needed to be eliminated from the public place ASAP. Oh! and did I mention, the man who smashed our sign came back a couple of hours later to point out that we were hateful idiots.
I watched a man make crude gestures to Pastor Tim as the good preacher spoke the Words of God; I met a young man who stumbled out of an alley reeking of marijuana, just to beg for some spare change to get another fix; I saw a dozen young ladies, no older than 18-19 years of age in skirts that went way too high, and tops that went way too low... all of them waiting for the bus that would take them to bar strip on the Quebec side (where the bars are open later); my poor ears heard some of the vilest insults and blasphemies throughout our night of evangelism... it was continuous and unrelenting; and I on my way back home, I had a very strange encounter with a young lady who was clearly drunk, or high, or drunk and high.
I had a couple of conversations that were friendly enough. I'm thankful for those, but there was a whole lot of awful drowning those two short breaks.
It's taken me two hours to write this post thus far... and I'm tired now. I don't think I want to share anything more, and I don't think anyone reading this post will want to read anything more. I apologize in advance for the depressing nature of this entry, it's been that kind of night.
Remember us in your prayers, dear saints.
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